Rec Rat Songs

Trigger warning: The following songs contain inappropriate, offensive, and "fowl" language. (Get it?) They're Rec Rat songs, for goodness sake.

Bang Bang LuLu

P.E.O. Rec Rat sign, 1977

Sung by Robbie and Reeves rats.

Bang Bang LuLu
Bang away all day
Whaddaya gonna do for a midnight screw
When LuLu goes away?

Rich girl uses tampons
Poor girl uses rags
LuLu's rough & ready,
She uses burlap bags.

Rich girl does it in the bed
Poor girl on the floor
Lulu does it standing up,
She gets six inches more.

Blue Moon

P.E.O. rec rat song, traditionally sung at Emanon.
The music was originally written by Richard Rodgers and Lorenz Hart for the 1934 film,
Manhattan Melodrama. The lyrics were changed prior to being commercially released.

Blue Moon,
You saw me standing alone,
Without a dream in my heart,
Without a love of my own.
Blue Moon,
You know just what I was there for,
You heard me saying a prayer for,
Someone I really could care for.

And then there suddenly appeared before me
The only one my arms will ever hold.
I heard somebody whisper, "Please adore me,"
And when I looked the moon had turned to gold.

Blue Moon,
Now I'm no longer alone,
Without a dream in my heart,
Without a love of my own.

Crackin' Up

I'm crackin' up for lack of shackin' up.
I'm going mad for lack of being had.
I wanta be made, I wanta be laid.
Won't someone take advantage of me, please.

Demon Escapaders

We're demon escapaders,
We're rapers of the night,
We're dirty sons of bitches,
We'd rather fuck than fight...
So, laudy dawdy, Christ o'mighty
Who the hell are we?
Shim sham, God damn,
We're from Cottey C!
Sung by the whorehouse quartet.
Have you got a hard-on?
Not yet!
Are you going to get one?
You bet!
Those rag ass blues...

Diarrhea

Sung to the tune of "Hello Dolly."

On Diarrhea, oh diarrhea,
How I wish you'd go back up where you belong.
You look like hell, DIARRHEA,
And you smell, DIARRHEA,
You're still going, you're still growing,
You're still flowing strong,
You've filled the john to the top,
Oh how I wish you'd stop this
Going, going, going all day long, but,
One thing's great, fellows,
Tomorrow I'll constipate, fellows,
Till diarrhea comes my way again.

Dingle Dangle

Don't ever let your dingle dangle
Dingle in the sand.
Just wrap it up in cellophane
And hold it in your hand
Cause if you let your dingle dangle
Dingle in the sand.
You'll have a dirty dingle dangle.
Goddamn!
Don't ever let your dingle dangle
Dingle in the snow.
Just wrap it up in cellophane
And tie it with a bow.
Cause if you let your dingle dangle
Dingle in the snow
You'll have a frozen dingle dangle
Oh, no!

Fascinatin' Lady

Sung by Robbie and Reeves rats.

I wish... I was... a fascinatin' lady,
With... a past... that's lookin' kinda shady.
I'd live in a house with a big red light,
I'd sleep all day and I'd work all night.
And once... a month... I'd take a short vacation,
And drive... the men... to utter masturbation.
And once a year I'd go hog wild,
And have myself an illegitimate child!
(Bah-dum bah-dum!)

Hey Look Us Over

Rec rat flowers in Robbie Hall, 1977
rrr flowers in Robbie's rec, 1977.

Hey look us over, lend us a beer,
We are the Rec Rats, ornery up to here.
Don't pass the cup, boys, just pass the mugs.
We figure whenever we're ostracized
It only means we're thugs because
We're first into trouble, last to be caught.
And where we're supposed to be,
That is where we're not.
So give us a cheer and have a beer,
And join the family,
So look out, here we come.

I'm in the Nude For Love

P.E.O. rec rat song.
Sung to the tune of "I'm in the Mood For Love."

I'm in the nude for love,
Stripping because you're near me.
Funny but... Funny butt?
Who says I've got a funny butt?

La, La, La

la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet,
Eating her curds and whey.
Along came a spider who sat down beside her
And said, "What's in the bowl bitch?"

Mary, Mary, quite contrary,
How does your garden grow?
With silver bells and cockle shells,
And one damn petunia.

There was an old lady who lived in the shoe,
She had so many children, she didn't know what to do...
Obviously.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Raped the Queen.

Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater,
Had a wife and couldn't keep her,
Put her in a pumpkin shell,
Slammed the door and ran like hell.

Jack and Jill went up the hill,
Each had a dollar and a quarter.
Jill came down with two and a half ―
Well, they didn't go up for water.

Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard
To get her poor daughter a dress.
When she got there, the cupboard was bare,
And so is her daughter, I guess.

Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard
To get her poor dog a bone.
When she bent over, Rover turned over
And gave her a bone of his own.

Mr. Can Man

Mr. Can Man, bring me a roll.
I need some paper to wipe my asshole.
I'm sitting here blowing turds and vapors.
Some dirty bastard stole the toilet paper.
Mr. Can Man, it's on the shelf.
I'm too damn lazy to get it myself.
So if you don't get on the ball,
I'm gonna wipe my ass,
I'm gonna wipe my ass,
I'm gonna wipe my ass on the wall.

Roll Me Over in the Clover

Roll me over in the clover,
Roll me over, lay me down and do it again.
Now this is number 1 and the fun has just begun
Roll me over, lay me down and do it again.
Roll me over in the clover.
Roll me over, lay me down and do it again.
Now this is number 2 and his hand is on my shoe,
Now this is number 3 and his hand is on my knee,
Now this is number 4 and now we're on the floor,
Now this is number 5 and we're really starting to jive,
Now this is number 6 and the juices start to mix,
Now this is number 7 and I'm on my way to heaven,
Now this is number 8 and the doctors at my gate,
Now this is number 9 and it's just about my time,
Now this is number 10 and it's time to start again.

Threshing Machine

My name is Jim Murphy, a farmer I am,
I courted a girl who was young and so shy.
We went for a ramble when she was seventeen,
And I showed her the works of my threshing machine.

Three months went by and all was not well,
Oh what had happened to poor little Nell,
For under her pinny so plain to be seen,
Was the dust that had blown from my threshing machine.

Nine months went by and the baby was born,
Which showed you how well I planted my corn,
For under his nappy, so white and so clean,
Was a brand new, twin-cylinder threshing machine.

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